Mom's Past Affairs

2008-06-26/5:27 p.m.

Today started out slow as usual but got more interesting around 5 in the afternoon. Like the past 5 days, I watched the rest of season 4 of the Simpsons and am now on disc 3 of season 3. Mind you, I'm going backwards. I am still in need of replenishing my stock of floppy discs. Who would have thought I'd ever need them....But it's the only way of moving the Simpsons audio clips off the old crappy Compaq computer covered in rabbit piss. CDs unfortunately don't work. I even remember buying a shitload of floppy discs years ago and have never used them. Now that I actually need them, I can't find them! Mom said she probably packed them. Those audio clips are worth saving, damnit!

So far it seems like an average day right? Wrong. Today was the day I was able to cross off one of the questions from my 'Questions to Ask Before I Die' list.

As part of my agreement to help fix up the house, I helped replace cabinet hardware and clean crap off the window sills. During the latter, I remembered a question I wanted to ask my Mom but was way to embarrassed to ask. I never even imagined I'd ever ask it. But curiosity was eating away at my innards as my bleach covered hands started numbing, yet feeling intensely hot. So I tossed the ball around and started a conversation on Mom's old boyfriends hoping it would lead into mentioning some juicer details...

I expressed many awkward laughs and so did Mom. But she eventually loosened up and started talking about it as if we were talking about the latest episode of Desperate Housewives over Coffee. She told me about dating a college student at the age of 15 with an impressive Italian name. As it turns out, he came from Italy. She told my grandparents that he was a senior. Who knew my Mom was a sneaky little devil? Now I know where I get it from. She told me the relationship didn't last the summer. Then I kept nagging at her to continue onto boyfriend number two. I don't remember all the boyfriends she named, it was quite a few. Even though she said she didn't have many...

Anyway, she went on how she went away to college and didn't date in her Freshmen year. I don't blame her, I'd be too busy adjusting to life away from home too. She was a shy girl and didn't have that much experience with boys. She said only dated here and there, nothing serious. Then came to the juicy details! Her first. The boy's name was Hunter and his last name started with a B. She said she liked him enough but wasn't in love with him or anything. It was out of curiosity and she 'justed wanted to get it over with.' She seemed kinda regretful that she didn't do it out of love. She met my Dad when she graduated from college and I asked her the meaningful, "Are you happy?" She replied with a yes and I could tell she really meant it.

So that was it. No detailed sex imagery. Just a little chat with my Mother. I've always wondered on whether or not Dad was Mom's first. I didn't really think it was true but that never stopped me from wanting to know. Does that make me weird for wanting to know? But what she said had me thinking, will my first time be out of curiosity? To be honest, I rather just be an amoeba. Asexual, yesiree. Sex scares me. It really does. Sure, I have those hormonious days, but doesn't everybody?

These feelings confuse the hell outa me.